Fantasies of the flesh...

Haha... no way has it been so long that I've been on here that they've made changes. I feel so left out of the loop.

Well, band season is rapidly coming to a close. Tomorrow, we have Chapters, followed by a full week of non-stop marching band and then...... ACC'S!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROOKIE!

Ummm... yeah, don't wanna stay home alone tonight. Anybody feel like hanging out? Call the cell.

CHS Marching Band has a parade tonight. I threw up in my second mod. They also have a football game tomorrow. I went home early.

I can, however, compete on Saturday so I was semi-okay with leaving today. I still feel guilty.

sleep. now. I feel so shitty.

Many of you may remember a time when I was attacked for my religion. I have not come in contact with such an experience like that until just now. Dan, a good friend of mine, has recently begun his path of Paganism. And on HIS OWN JOURNAL he was harrassed for believing in the Pagan path. Not only that, but he was described in the same way one would describe a Satanist. The specific person should not be called out, but s/he should most certainly read up on Paganism before trying to judge it. It's called education and we never stop learning.

I will never be able to tolerate such ignorance.

Friday- practice from nine to six. work from six-thirty to midnight.
Saturday- practice from one to five. work from six to midnight.
Sunday- work from nine in the morning to ten in the evening.

Katie, I love you. :-*

Worked tonight, just got home. :-/ That's really no surprise, is it?

I also had practice from nine to six today. Man, it was cold! And it was raining all day. I hate rain when I have to march in it. Thank God we didn't stay out in it that much today. :-) Yay.

I have a competition tomorrow. w00t. It's a Walkersville so it shouldn't be too late. SHOULDN'T be. haha... it'll be a good time, regardless of what time I get home.

Mom's in VA. She won't be back until Sunday.

I work Sunday morning. And then I will probably work Sunday night. w00t.

Homework? Hahaha. :-P

Night. It's been a long day. :-*

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice.
It's a shame I doubt they even care.

Yeah, I feel like that sometimes. More than a lot lately.

If I just fucking stapled her mouth shut then I wouldn't have a problem with her. If she just couldn't talk, I'd love her. As the case is, a lot of the time, I want to wring her neck... or stab her with a fucking knife.

Oh I just love my grandparents. I AM NOT CHRISTIAN NOR WILL I EVER BE. Get that through your thick fucking skulls and STOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR RELIGION ON ME. Guess what my grandmother, the shining Christian sent me. A Christian rock group's cd. Why the Hell would I listen to that? WHY? FOR MY BIRTHDAY? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GET ME SOMETHING THAT I WANTED????

I am so fucking sick of people trying to put me in a group that I just don't belong in. I am not a marching band freak. I am not a Pagan. I am not a Christian. I am not a whore. I am not ANYTHING. I am me and why don't people understand that? I am not your friend. I am not your enemy. You will never know so don't pretend you care.

When you've seen me cry. When you've seen me laugh until I fall over. When you've listened to me sleep and try to figure out what I'm saying. When you know exactly what I'm thinking just by the look on my face. When you don't have to ask if I'm okay because you already know the answer. When you remember that it's my birthday. When you really care about what I have to say. When you don't let a topic drop when you know that it really bothers me. When you say that you love me and really mean it.

Until then, don't pretend.

Linkin Park + Marlboro Medium 100's + that after-sex high = the best feeling in the world.

That's what an away message is for. Fucking use it.

Not really sure if that convo post was a good idea or not. I haven't really decided on that. I may have just made it worse. But I was so fucking frustrated. I just don't understand where a rumor like that could have sprung from. It doesn't make any sense at all. *shakes head*

Anyway, no school for me today. And I'm not really that happy about it, but it's something that I have to do. I'm still not unpacked. I have absolutely no time to do it. Or when I do have time, it's like at 1:30 in the morning and Mom doesn't like it when I unpack boxes so late at night. So that's what I'm doing today.

No mb today which makes me a little sad, but I'm glad I get to go to work tonight. I get to see John! w00t!

I'm missing the Pyschology review. Crap. I'm gonna have to look over my notes today and figure out what I really need to study. And then study it. I have a test tomorrow and I have to do well on it. I need that grade to go up.

So that's it for now. I just finished eating my bowl of cereal and now I have to get crackin'. Btw, John Ermer=tres sexy. Just thought I'd mention that little thought.

Oct 16, 2005
(Wisconsin)

A bus carrying Chi Hi students collided with a semi. The State Patrol says a motor coach bus carrying Chippewa Falls high school students collided with a semi early Sunday morning. At least five passengers were killed and 30 others were injured.

The crash happened around 2:00 on Sunday morning just west of Osseo on Interstate 94. The State Patrol says the bus and semi were both going westbound in the same lane. Authorities say they believe the semi jackknifed and then the bus ran into it.

Four buses were returning home from a band competition at UW-Whitewater. They were carrying students, instructors and chaperones. The students performed at UW-Whitewater at about 9:00 on Saturday night.



Shit. *shakes head* I hope to God that they're okay. Five dead... shit.

IceAngel137 (2:04:06 PM): the rumor
IceAngel137 (2:04:12 PM): he set me straight
IceAngel137 (2:04:15 PM): well
IceAngel137 (2:04:38 PM): he said that the rumor was that you and rob were gonna have sex
IceAngel137 (2:04:53 PM): but that you didn't but were seriously going to
secretdesires513 (2:05:13 PM): who the hell did he hear that from?
IceAngel137 (2:05:48 PM): apparently he heard it from both stacy and jen, who both heard it from you
IceAngel137 (2:06:11 PM): i was like, y would kailei tell the drum major that she almost slept with the instructor?
secretdesires513 (2:06:38 PM): that's fucking ridiculous
IceAngel137 (2:06:50 PM): yeah i was like, that's nothing but i freaking rumor
IceAngel137 (2:06:56 PM): a*
secretdesires513 (2:07:15 PM): it's the stupidest rumor I've ever heard
IceAngel137 (2:07:20 PM): yeah
secretdesires513 (2:07:29 PM): does John believe it/
secretdesires513 (2:07:30 PM): ?
IceAngel137 (2:07:39 PM): i think so
IceAngel137 (2:08:26 PM): he said everyone hates rob but none of the instructors know about it
IceAngel137 (2:08:34 PM): h/o
secretdesires513 (2:08:41 PM): k
IceAngel137 (2:08:56 PM): back
IceAngel137 (2:09:38 PM): so, is there any truth in this whatsoever?
secretdesires513 (2:10:06 PM): hahahaha
secretdesires513 (2:10:09 PM): not even a little bit
secretdesires513 (2:10:15 PM): I hate Rob
secretdesires513 (2:10:19 PM): there's no way I'd sleep with him
IceAngel137 (2:10:40 PM): yeah i was like why would she be that stupid
secretdesires513 (2:10:59 PM): it's nothing but a stupid rumor
secretdesires513 (2:11:13 PM): and one that won't be around long enough to be anything of substance
secretdesires513 (2:11:19 PM): it's fucking dumb
IceAngel137 (2:12:09 PM): it's going around the marching band?
IceAngel137 (2:12:12 PM): you heard about it?
secretdesires513 (2:12:31 PM): yeah
secretdesires513 (2:12:37 PM): Staci came up to me about it
secretdesires513 (2:12:42 PM): I told her that it was stupid
IceAngel137 (2:14:02 PM): did she say where she heard it from?
secretdesires513 (2:14:08 PM): no
secretdesires513 (2:14:11 PM): and I don't care
secretdesires513 (2:14:13 PM): it's stupid
IceAngel137 (2:14:23 PM): yeha
secretdesires513 (2:14:30 PM): there's no reason to even pay attention to it
IceAngel137 (2:15:05 PM): yeah i know
IceAngel137 (2:15:08 PM): i dont believe it
IceAngel137 (2:15:12 PM): never did
IceAngel137 (2:15:41 PM): cuz even though i can believe rob would cheat he would never be so stupid as to cheat with one of his students
IceAngel137 (2:15:54 PM): and you would never go so low as to sleep with him
secretdesires513 (2:17:29 PM): not ever

So fucking stop the rumors. No, I did not almost sleep with him. No, I wouldn't even consider it. That's all there is to it. I've heard about the rumors for a while now, and I honestly thought it would all go away if I continued to ignore it. Obviously, I was wrong so I decided to address this issue directly.

NO. And it's getting out of hand. Stop feeding on gossip and rumors that just aren't true. It's all a bunch of bullshit. Grow the fuck up and find something else to entertain your small minds.

I don't feel like updating. but it's been twelve days. so here I go...

umm... band's going good... the guard is much better this year.

my grades are a little shitty. correction: very shitty. let's just say I have to get my ass in gear... ASAP.

we're moved in. not unpacked.

Katie is my new favorite person. except, I remember saying that in an entry before. so maybe "new" isn't the right word.

I like someone. Someone else likes that someone. And I'm hooking the two of them up. yay for me.

I'm working only one job. have I mentioned that yet? I quit Wal-Mart.

I'm going to Bob's for my birthday dinner... then I'm gonna change in the bathroom and work. yay for me.

I have homework to do. Geometry can suck my left toe. Psychology is my favorite class but I'm doing the worst in it. yay for me...

Fall Out Boy. Dashboard Confessionals. Finch. Yeah, that's about it.

Am I done..? I don't have much else to say.

Ethan can go fuck himself.

And then I'll go out for ice cream.

Have done:

1) I got another job. Yep... another one. Call me crazy, but I love to be busy, busy, busy. I hate being unproductive. Most of the time, lol. I went back to work at Bob Evans for 7.25 an hour and still working for Wal-Mart for 6.45. It's actually quite a ripoff, but whatever... lol.
2) I raised my Earth/Space Science grade from a 29% to a flipping 57%! In less than two days! By the end of the week, I shall no longer be failing. Woo-hoo for me.
3) I have finally decided what instrument I want to learn first. It kind of started by accident. Mark taught me the basics of reading music and understanding it (still having a little trouble, but I'm doing okay for having never played an instrument before). I want to play percussion. Yes, I have decided. I want to play percussion... don't ask me why, I don't really know.

To do:

1)That Pysch project due tomorrow... no big deal, it'll only take me a few minutes... haha, if I get lucky.
2) Geometry project due Monday.
3) Test in Earth/Space on... Friday? Yeah, Friday...

Schedule for the next few days:

Tomorrow: SAT Prep after school until about four. Perhaps getting my homework done before practice which is from six to nine...
Friday: work at Wal-Mart from four to ten...
Saturday: competition at North Carroll, which means all day practice... then not home before midnight...
Sunday: work at Wal-Mart from eight to two then doing whatever homework I have for the weekend before I go to work at Bob Evans from five to ten (ish.... probably 11, 11:30... lol)

I'm not stressed a bit. I love fast-pace. Keeps me on my toes. Somehow, I always pull through. :-)

Gonna get up a bit early to take a shower and do the rest of that Psych homework.

Had a competition this past Saturday. We got a 78.05. Riverhill got a 78.15. How's that for disappointing.

Last night was definitely no good... Morgan picked me up from my house at about 11 and we went grocery shopping. Then we just decided to go to her aunt's house to stay the night. I brought my phone, of course, and my charger. I plug my phone in a nearby outlet and start my homework. I get done with all my Earth/Space Science homework and flip out because I forgot my Geometry book. So she just drives me back to my house.

Guess what is still at her aunt's house.

I was bawling my eyes out last night because I really thought that somebody was going to attack me in my sleep and I would have had no way to contact the outside world. No way to call 911. :-/ FUCK. I'll get it back before practice tonight. I feel weird not having it.

I had practice from about 9 to 4. Not too bad, then dinner and a football game at 7. I left the school around 9:30 and went home to take a shower. My hair feels so nice! :-P After that, I walked across my street and went to the Fifth-Quarter thing. It was cool, I saw a lot of mb people.

Practice went pretty well. Long, of course. My feet were killing me. I'm definitely not used to marching all day. It was like the first day of band camp all over again. Tomorrow will be better for two reason: less time there practicing and my feet are already killing me. I had the worst mirgraine, though, at the end of practice. Kilroy gave me medicine. :-) Yay.

I went to Taco Bell with Morgan. I got a number six (Beef Baja) and a hard shell taco. It was yummy. Guess what... I stole somebody's coke. Nobody claimed it. So I took it. :-P haha... I'm such a bad person.

The football game wasn't too bad. Century won (I think?) which was this side of a miracle. *shakes head* it was kinda crazy... lol... the performance was my best run-through since we started this show. So that was good... granted, we definitely could've done better. But it was good. :-)

Fifth-Quarter was pretty good. Fun. Jen is a loser at Texas-Hold Em'. But whatever. I'm a loser at pool. But there was this guy and he was really good. He was in one of the bands that were playing. He was kinda cute.

TJ is cute too. Sorry, just had to say it... he's even more adorable outside of marching band, lol.

Night all. It's time for bed. I have a competition tomorrow. Wish me luck! And good luck to those who are in it with me!

you should know that it took me about an hour to actually start this entry. I had the subject line and then I got distracted. Then I wrote like a sentence and got hungry. So I made food. Well, it's cooking right now. I'm settling down and gonna actually WRITE this entry. Yeah, that's right. Cause I'm awesome.

Let me start with Friday night. It was pretty horrible. Brandon ran me over during set number eight or nine. It was kinda messy. Dropped my rifle, twice. I think I dropped my sabre. Messed up on flag work that I KNOW I know. To make matters worse, we marched off the field and Rob gave us a talk that made me cry. I actually shed tears over what he said. Now, it wasn't what he said that bothered me. It was because it was HIM that said it. A few of you know what I mean. And after that, Chris wouldn't let me do spin club. I was a bitch that night.

Saturday morning, I had orientation at Wal-Mart. It was okay. There's this guy who went to Century that was there. His name is Stephan Green. And there was a lady named Fran. She's a first grade teacher from Baltimore city. They're both really nice. It was pretty cool to hang out with them for like four hours. :-P

Saturday night I went to the Liberty competition. I wanted to compete so bad! grr! freaking Mr. Askew! Anyway, that was fun. Kathy and Sarah are hilarious. They just are.

I had orientation again on Sunday morning. It was sorta boring. I did CBL's (Computer Based Learning). I have four left, which is pretty good.

Last night was bad. I broke down because I heard the song, "Together" by Avril. And I grabbed my keys and my cell phone. Grabbed my phone and left. I walked the white line on the side of the highway and ended up at the school. I think I slept against the band room door for a little bit. I woke up and freaked out cause I couldn't remember how I had gotten there. I called RJ. He came and got me... took me back to his house. My mom picked me up a little bit after that, around 11:30, when she got off work.

She thinks I might be bi-polar. I went to the doctor's today. I have an appointment with a psychologist on Wednesday.

Now time for bed.

Those of you who have been friends of mine since the beginning of my journals, might remember my phases that I went through... music phases, of course. I listened to Trapt for a little while. Hoobastank for a time. Avril Lavigne, of course, got her spot. These are what I call my "WI music," mainly because I listened to them exclusively while I was in Wisconsin. So now, whenever I listen to it, I think... "this reminds me of WI."

Mac and cheese. Most of you should know that that is my absolute favorite food. Bagels and cream cheese rank a close second. My two top beverages are coffee and Sprite. You all may remember that it's all I ate/drank when I was in WI, thus they are my "WI foods."

I forgot I was in MD last night. I actually thought to myself, "oh god... I have to go to Newspaper tomorrow." I was eating mac and cheese and drinking some Sprite and listening to Hoobastank. And I was suddenly in WI. Call me crazy... it was so weird...

Now I'm off to socialize with the same group of people that I see every other night of the week. :-P

SPAM MY JOURNAL! I WANT TO SEE HOW MANY COMMENTS I CAN GET IN THIS ENTRY IN THE NEXT 24ish HOURS!!!

Reccomend movies, books, links, whatever! Get creative and just spam! Tell me random things about yourself. Anything and everything is welcome! :-P Make me feel better, damnit! I know you can do it... 10 comments per person would make... I don't know... like 100 comments. I'd say that would be pretty freaking awesome! SO COMMENT!

EDIT: I'm totally upping the number to 200. Come on, you guys! Talk with each other or tell me about yourself! I don't know any of you people nearly as well as I should. So... POST! (haha)

This worked for mariediocre. I'm not so sure about MY friends' list. Can you do it? Time started: 1:47 EST, July 29, 2005.

GO!